Sunday, October 2, 2011

How to Avoid a Huge Line at the Post Office

So my little girls are usually wonderful little cherubs when we go out in public. Well, "usually" may be a little stretch of the truth, but you get the point. They don't throw huge tantrums at the store (I am knocking very loudly on wood right now) or throw their food across the restaurant, or pull other kid's hair at playgroup (I think I just broke my desk I am currently knocking so hard on wood.). Then one day , that all changed.
We had to go to the Post Office and I decided not to take the stroller in because it was going to be quick trip, and when I drove by I could see thast the line was very short. Well, anyone who has young children knows that you need to add about ten minutes to your trip for each time you need to take you children in OR out of the carseat. So, it was no surprise by the time I opened the door to the Post Office, there was a huge line. I should have just turned around and went on my merry way with my lovely children. But, given the history I just spoke of, them seeming pretty happy, and me having a deadline to make with the package I had, I decided to go for it. As soon as I got in line my children turned into gremlins! Fiona wouldn't let me hold her, Zoe ran around the corner to the PO boxes, Fiona followed her, and no one would come back when I called them. After giving up my place in line, I grabbed them to get back in line. They started acting like I was killing them, so I let them go in embarrassment. I repeated this about three times and then I just gave up. They proceeded to run laps around the post office, screaming and laughing at the top of their lungs, hanging from every countertop ledge they could reach and pulling down all of the packaging products. They WOULD NOT STOP. People were staring. People were laughing. Most people were rolling their eyes and giving me the "if that was my kid..." look. My children were going postal. I wanted to cry. There were still about 4 people in front of me. And then it happened. I must have looked so pathetic and so beat down that ALL FOUR OF THEM actually let me go ahead of them in line! I didn't know what I felt more - thankfulness or pure shame.
Luckily for my sanity, my children have yet to be that obnoxious in public since, but I sure as hell have not brought them to the Post Office again!

Something is wrong here..

So there I was sitting at Barnes and Noble, sipping on a latte, leisurely tasting my delicious veggie quiche, skimming quietly through a few books I picked up....and then my brain kicked in:

I'm forgetting something! Do I have an appointment I'm missing right now?

Nope, nowhere to be.

Something is missing! Is it my purse?

Nope, that's right here.

I had that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I felt like I was missing a limb. And then it hit me. I was alone. I didn't have either child with me. And not because I forgot them somewhere, but because they were both at playgroup! And I didn't have to pick them up for two and a half more hours! The sick feeling in my stomach quickly was replaced by outright giggling and the enire cafe was now staring at me. I couldn't stop smiling as I looked around and people watched, read my books, and relaxingly ate my breakfast without one person needing anything from me. No whining, crying, diapers, playdates to clean for, laundry to do,or work to complete. Well, at least none of that stuff while I was in Barnes and Nobles for that one glorious morning.
This what what I had dreamed about for the last 3 and a half years! But then, about an hour into my freedom I was stuck. I didn't really know what to do with myself. I ate all my food, coffee was gone, and books were skimmed. I made myself sit there quietly and just savor the moment. But I just started with the To DO lists in my head. Then I made myself browse some more. I kept looking at the clock. I just couldn't relax. I felt like I should be doing something productive! I kept arguing with myself to enjoy my time, but it was an actual fight in my brain. My body just didn't remember how to just BE. After a while I just gave up and went to the grocery store and picked up a few things that we needed. I figured I had plenty of time to re-learn how to "chill" and I was really looking forward to it!
That was two months ago and I haven't had another chance since. Oh well, maybe in three more years!

Monday, August 22, 2011

Is it worth it?

I was having a difficult moment tonight. It happens. Sometimes frequently. Thinking about one crappy thing lead to thinking about another crappy thing, which led to thinking about another crappy thing. Isn' t that snowball effect freaking awesome? Finally, in the span of 20 minutes I was involved in a full on pity party, and I was the guest of honor. Waah me. I asked myself the usual question -

"Is it all worth it?"

All the money we owe, all the shit that needs to be done to the house, all the times I was really pissed and had no one to call, all the laundry to do, the slaps to the face in the middle of the grocery store by my toddler, all the places the car needs repair. All the times I fought with my husband about the god damn cat box, all the time I don't get to spend time with said husband because we have to work opposite schedules. All the friends and family that we love that are too far away, all the family that doesn't give a shit about us. All the times I don't get that birthday present or get to give that birthday present. All the times you have to deal with the outside world and you just wish you could curl up and hide for a while.

Well, pardon my french but -

Heck yeah, it is all worth it.

I don't believe in the "it's all wonderful because love conquers all" crap. But that is exactly how it is. I love my girls so stinkin' much that it hurts sometimes. I catch myself looking at them and have tears in my eyes thinking that they came to be only because of me and my husband. No one else could have made them. It is absolutely fascinating to me. They are wonderful bundles of life and joy and energy and sweet, tangled love. My life is better because of them, I am better because of them. No matter what happens, they have changed my path, my being, and are forever a part of me. I would not want to live without that part. Because without them, it is not worth it.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Father's Day 2011

Daddy's new shirt we had made for him - Because he always tells us he loves us

"As Big as the world, as big as the sky", (forever and ever and ever!)

(be sure to turn up the volume - the little microphone icon under the picture, for some reson it defaults to mute)

Daddy got a new pair of shoes, a special breakfast, a new shirt and an afternoon of boating. In his words - "best father's day ever!" Love you Keith for being a great daddy and loving your girls...


thanks for being my babies' daddy!

Sunday, June 12, 2011

No shoe didn't - Yes shoe did.

First, let me start with a quote that I find particularly fitting:

In raising my children, I have lost my mind but found my soul. ~ Lisa T. Shepherd

I share this because this picture is an example of why mothers like myself can identify with this quote. If you notice, this is a picture of a large pile of baby shoes - AND NOT ONE OF THEM MATCH. There are 10 shoes here from Fiona's shoe storage box and they are all different. In my house (or possibly car) at this given moment is the match to every one of these shoes. Yet somehow it is possible that when I am looking for two shoes that match to take my child out into the world, there are only ten shoes that - and I repeat -DO NOT MATCH!!!! This is a perfect example of why mothers often feel like they have lost their mind. Luckily for us, the second part of the quote usually comes into play quickly enough to keep us somewhat sane.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

The Sleeping Bee

****This post written by the blogger's Mom,

otherwise known as Gramma*****

One sunny morning recently on our porch, Zoe noticed a bumblebee lying underneath our table.
She asked me why the bee wasn’t moving, and I told her the bee was probably “sleeping”, which has been my Son-in-Law's way of avoiding the death subject.
My daughter told me it was okay, as death was now being discussed with little Miss 3 Year Old. So, I told her the bee was dead. She got down on her knees and tried to BZZZZZZ at it and it didn’t move.
The discussion went to “Gramma, why doesn’t the bee move?” I stumbled and told her that when you died you can’t move…..after many “why” questions, including “Gramma, why won’t he open his eyes?”, I finally resorted to the, “because God made it that way” answer to a few questions, much to the dismay of my daughter.
Zoe asked if she could touch the bumble bee - we decided not to touch but to look at it. She got down nose to nose with the bumble bee and just watched it for a long time, very, very quietly. And then said, “Gramma, the bee still won’t wake up “– so Gramma said, “Zoe, do you want to sing the bee a song?” I thought we would make up a little ditty about a sleeping bumblebee on my porch, when very quietly, she began to sing to the bee…..”The itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout……….” The song I sang to her every morning when she was a baby…..


Friday, April 15, 2011

Pitstop between Errands

Fiona and I were running some errands while Zoe was in school today and ended up stopping at the beach(that makes errand so much more tolerable!). We hadn't been since...well...she probably doesn't even remember being at the beach it's been so long, I'm sad to say. But we can so we did today! She was totally freaking out about her toes having sand stuck on them and wouldn't stand up for the longest time. Just kept saying "uh-oh" and "feet". (The video doesn't give her original reaction justice!)Finally she was OK with it and we ran around looking at the ocean, birds and beach goers for a while. It was lovely!

Monday, April 11, 2011

Blankey and Baba

Fiona has a "lovey". It's a blanket that she really wasn't interested in until a few months ago. Zoe never had one, and that was kind of weird to me because I thought every kid had one(though I don't remember having one, so I don't know why I thought that). She isn't obsessed with it or anything, she just likes to chew on it when she's tired. Maybe "chew" isn't the right word- she practically stuffs the whole thing in her mouth at once! I like it because it's made of organic cotton and satin. I wonder how long she'll love on it - I know a certain someone who still has his and he is over 30 years old:)... I am also having a hard time getting rid of her bottle ("baba"). She definitely wants it when she wakes up and when she is tired. I think it's hard for me to get rid of it because I feel guilty about stopping breast feeding when I did. She was OK about it then, I just feel like maybe I should have waited longer, until she stopped. Plus, I'm sure part of my reluctance to stop this baby stuff is the whole "she's my last baby wah wah wah". I'll get over it - I guess... it's just this motherhood thing/taking care of my own babies is kind of nice. I'm finally getting the hang of it and now they aren't babies any more!:(

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

"Being grateful takes time and energy"

I'm feeling particularly grateful tonight after I tuck my cherubs into bed. Maybe it's because we had an active, but not tiring day. Maybe it's because I got lots of cleaning done (relatively speaking, of course). Maybe it's because I have plans all week to look forward to. But, most likely, it's because I have a lot to be grateful for. Period. I have two healthy, charismatic daughters who I get to spend most of their developing moments with. I have a husband who works as hard as he loves his family. I have family members who care about me. I have friends who love me no matter my moments or how much time has passed. I have a wonderful house, a place that truly feels like my home, that I am very proud of. I have the ability to actively take part in my life and the world around me. I am thankful. I am hopeful. I am grateful.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Meet Chuck

World, I would like to introduce you to my youngest daughter, "Chuck". We've decided to name her that because ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING THE CHILD TOUCHES ENDS UP ON THE FLOOR. There is no ill will or ill intent. Just the ol' "hold and throw". The fork in the picture - on the floor. The peas in her plate - on the floor. The cup in the car - on the floor. The book in her room - on the floor. People laugh out loud at us as they walk by our table in restaurants because of the pile under her highchair (don't worry - I try to clean it up before we leave). It's gotten a little ridiculous. The best part is when she looks at you and says, "No, no, no" as she does it. So until this so called phase passes, Fiona will hereby be referred to as Chuck.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Stop Titan and save my Babies!

So I'm really excited to be more involved in a group that I have been supporting for years now - Citizens Against Titan. I have been taking the girls to protests, community events and writing to every polititcian who I can get an email address for. Titan America(a cement company) wants to set up shop near our community and without a doubt (with tons of scientific data to prove it), will completely contaminate our air and environment with toxic pollutants. As a mother, as a community member, as someone who cares about the environment, and lastly, as someone who will be breathing this air, I cannot tolerate this. So I have become involved with the new Parents Against Titan group and am excited for the education and inspiration we can bring to families in our area. I hope that I can convince some more parents to fight the good fight because not fighting this particular fight is the passive equivalent of poisoning your own children. Join our group on Facebook to show your support -!/home.php?sk=group_210672762279814&ap=1

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Liar Liar Pants on Fire

Is that a hole in a tree or a fairy house?

Santa, leprechans, fairies, talking cartoon dogs, magicians....
All the things that make childhood different than adulthood (and way better!).
Pushing your sister, not cleaning your room, not washing your hands...
All the things that you lie about when you are a child and what your parents frown upon.
So when is a lie OK? When it's convenient? When it makes someone else feel better? When it's a white lie? A grey lie? Where do we draw the line? I know I don't tolerate lying from anyone in my life - my husband, my family, my friends....or even myself. I am brutally honest - to the point of uncomfortable sometimes. I assumed I would be the same with my children. But then Zoe was old enough to know about Santa...and that was so fun! And the Easter Bunny... and now Leprechans and on and on. "Mommy, how does Santa get here?" Why does the Easter Bunny hide eggs?" "I learned about Leprechauns at school today". Yes, I could tell the truth and say that it is all pretend. She is starting to grasp the concept of "pretend". But there is nothing magical about that...and that is truly what I loved the most about my childhood. I was one of that last holdouts in the world of make believe and I believed in everything magical with all my heart. I believed that my dolls came to life at night and played while I was sleeping. I believed that Santa did get my 6 page wish list and considered each choice with care. I believed that there were fairies in the trees and that my dog could understand me. I had a wonderful, happy, magical childhood. No, believing in Santa was not the only reason for that, but that mindset was a big part of making being happy with the world so easy. So I guess i answered my own question. We tell stories to make childhood a wonderful place. When we stop telling those stories, life becomes boring and ugly. So here's to keeping the magic going until you can't anymore and at that point may the truth in life be a place that you can live because your heart is still filled with magic. And sometimes, just sometimes, you look twice under that leaf because you swear you saw pixie dust.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Rare family photo

We rarely get the four of us in a picture these days, so I'm happy when I can grab a quick one - even if it's not fancy photo shoot style!

Get the sugars out

For some reason, since I started helping Zoe brush her teeth over two years ago, I call it "getting the sugars out". I have no idea why other than I'm trying to impart that sugar is bad for your teeth and will give you cavitites, so you have to get them out every day. Fiona has gotten to the age where we are trying to teach her to brush her own teeth(we still go behind and do it for both of them). I came across these really cool toothbrushes with suction cups on the bottom and if you look closely at the picture you can see how Fiona likes to brush her teeth - with the brush suctioned to the sink!

I guess sometimes I'm just going to feel like a crappy Mom...

See these two little angels? Usually the epitomy of cuteness. Today, not so much. We had a playdate at the house (two kids about the same age) and my little cherubs proceded to spend the entire three and a half hours attacking our guests. Now Fiona was being sweet about it and only wanted to be near the other baby, but ended up just harrassing the crap out of her until said baby would end up crying. Zoe , on the other hand, had a master plan. Since she has a history of being a little too "hands on" with this particular sweet girl, I tried talking about it ahead of time. I focused on the positive about keeping hands to ourselves, being a nice friend, etc, but apparently I sealed the deal when I mentioned "no pushing". Immediately Zoe decided "yes, pushing" was going to be the theme of the playdate. She proceded to push this child at every opportunity - even when they were sitting down eating lunch! I tried talking about it, time outs, suggesting maybe she needed some quiet time by herself, and even to the point of telling her no one would want to be her friend if she was not nice. I know it's a stage and developmentally it's normal, blah blah blah. But I have to admit, it's a little embarassing being the parent of a kid who is aggressive. I know I get pissed when another kid is aggressive to my child, age appropriate or not. So anyway, I totally was stressed out during the entire playdate and just felt crappy for the rest of the day because I couldn't get it out of my head that I must be a bad mom. To me, that is the worst thing I could be. So, yeah, I know tomorrow is a new day and I'm sure they'll do something to totally warm my heart a million times, but today was just not that kind of day.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Happy 3rd Birthday Zoe Pearl!

We had Zoe's birthday at home this year and it was blast! First of all, I love the fact that we can stick to a basic "birthday party" birthday theme because she has never really had a "theme" before and she totally loves the concept of balloons and cake! Add our trampoline,swingset, tunnels, sand and water table and a few balls and you have the entertainment for every kid aged 1-12 at the party! The parents got mimosas which went over just as well! There was a great turnout because now Zoe has more friends because of school and it was just craziness galore. We booked the ice cream man as a surprise because she LOVES the ice cream man and that was huge hit, too. I would like to thank my friend Holly (who is an awesome party planner) for accidentally guilting me into making this party a special event. It was actually fun to plan and it turned out pretty good for someone with very little party planning experience - I might have to try something bigger and better next year! I am very excited to say that 90% of the party was purchased from the dollar store and I don't think anyone was the wiser. The goodie bags were even pretty decent (i think that is the funnest part for me to plan!). The important thing is that Zoe really seemed to have a great time. Most of her favorite people were all in her backyard playing with her at the same time and that was the best present she could have asked for! Love you Zoe, our biggest girl! You are the best!

PS A special thanks to Uncle Dave and Daddy for really helping get this party great!

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

March of Kindness

I posted a link on the side of the blog about doing at least one kind thing per day for the month of March. I really like this idea, and I think we all could use the reminder. I am really tryng to teach Zoe and Fiona the importance of kindness - and if I had one goal for their life, it would be for them to learn to be kind. For true kindness leads to peace, inner health, happiness and an intersting life which are all of the other things I wish for them as well! Through teaching them, I am refocusing on my own kindness and trying to rekindle that focus in my life. I recently read somewhere that teaching something to someone makes it really become a part of you. Here's to us all being a better person!

Thursday, February 3, 2011

My stay at homies

Two things make it possible for me to stay home with my girls - my sweet highly overworked but not underloved husband and our family accounting business
For that I am truly thankful!

Friday, January 21, 2011

Mama's last baby

Obviously, Keith and I made the choice to have the girls pretty close together. We also chose not to have any more children after this. Initially, this choice seemed like a no-brainer. But now, I will say that the idea of never having another baby again is kind of sad to me. It's exactly like everyone says - it goes by soooo fast! That is why each step of babyhood that Fiona passes through makes me sad. Every time I put away another baby toy in the For Sale bag, or put another box of baby clothes in the attic, it is another pang of the reality that I will have no more babies in the house. It's hard for some people to understand this and I know it is my own thing, but it is very real to me. I just have to remind myself to cherish every cuddle , every babble, every giggle, every sleeping baby and look forward to the next steps of these precious lives I am so in love with...

Snow Day

It rarely snows in Wilmington, so when it does it is lovely!
(As long as you don't need to go anywhere!)
We don't have snow clothes for the girls - because it never snows here, so playing outside is not an option. Instead we filled up a bowl with fresh snow and Zoe played with it in the tub!

When her hands got too cold, we took the leftover snow and added chocolate syrup and cherries!

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

This year's Christmas card

I tried to be cute again with this year's card and it was pretty low budget, so we did what we could. We took about 200 pics and most of them resembled the second picture here while one, and only one, actually looked cute (see the first pic above). I guess you only need ONE cute picture for a chirstmas card, anyway...

Zoe can use chopsticks!

( We go to this local chinese american chain called Mama Fu's (which Zoe calls Mommy Fu's). The girls love the tofu and edamame there. It's the only place we can go where the kids actually eat a meal's worth of food. The way we got Zoe to eat even more was to let her eat with chopsticks. She would just stab her tofu and eat eat it that way. One day, the waitress used rubberbands and fashioned the chopsticks so Zoe could actually use them for real and she was soooo excited and proud of herself! For Christmas I got her "trainer" chopsticks and she will eat anything I give her as long as she can use them! So cool that my two year old knows what edamame is, likes tofu and uses chopsticks!

Christmas Eve 2011

Santa hooked our girls up! He loves making girly presents!
Putting out the reindeer food so Santa will use the back door.
(Daddy is wearing his new christmas jammies even though he hates them!)

Christmas eve the girls get new jammies and get to open one present.

Fia is just excited to rip the paper!

Happy Birthday Daddy - The Big 4-0!

As already stated in the previous post, Keith's birthday was a little side tracked by Christmas on Ice. He got to stay home with Fiona all day and she thanked him by throwing up all over him at the bookstore. We had to cancel our dinner plans and stay home and order in with a sick baby. Party time. We at least got to have cake and Zoe loved helping him blow out the candles:)
Happy Bday, Daddy - we'll make it up to you, I promise!