Sunday, October 2, 2011

How to Avoid a Huge Line at the Post Office

So my little girls are usually wonderful little cherubs when we go out in public. Well, "usually" may be a little stretch of the truth, but you get the point. They don't throw huge tantrums at the store (I am knocking very loudly on wood right now) or throw their food across the restaurant, or pull other kid's hair at playgroup (I think I just broke my desk I am currently knocking so hard on wood.). Then one day , that all changed.
We had to go to the Post Office and I decided not to take the stroller in because it was going to be quick trip, and when I drove by I could see thast the line was very short. Well, anyone who has young children knows that you need to add about ten minutes to your trip for each time you need to take you children in OR out of the carseat. So, it was no surprise by the time I opened the door to the Post Office, there was a huge line. I should have just turned around and went on my merry way with my lovely children. But, given the history I just spoke of, them seeming pretty happy, and me having a deadline to make with the package I had, I decided to go for it. As soon as I got in line my children turned into gremlins! Fiona wouldn't let me hold her, Zoe ran around the corner to the PO boxes, Fiona followed her, and no one would come back when I called them. After giving up my place in line, I grabbed them to get back in line. They started acting like I was killing them, so I let them go in embarrassment. I repeated this about three times and then I just gave up. They proceeded to run laps around the post office, screaming and laughing at the top of their lungs, hanging from every countertop ledge they could reach and pulling down all of the packaging products. They WOULD NOT STOP. People were staring. People were laughing. Most people were rolling their eyes and giving me the "if that was my kid..." look. My children were going postal. I wanted to cry. There were still about 4 people in front of me. And then it happened. I must have looked so pathetic and so beat down that ALL FOUR OF THEM actually let me go ahead of them in line! I didn't know what I felt more - thankfulness or pure shame.
Luckily for my sanity, my children have yet to be that obnoxious in public since, but I sure as hell have not brought them to the Post Office again!

Something is wrong here..

So there I was sitting at Barnes and Noble, sipping on a latte, leisurely tasting my delicious veggie quiche, skimming quietly through a few books I picked up....and then my brain kicked in:

I'm forgetting something! Do I have an appointment I'm missing right now?

Nope, nowhere to be.

Something is missing! Is it my purse?

Nope, that's right here.

I had that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I felt like I was missing a limb. And then it hit me. I was alone. I didn't have either child with me. And not because I forgot them somewhere, but because they were both at playgroup! And I didn't have to pick them up for two and a half more hours! The sick feeling in my stomach quickly was replaced by outright giggling and the enire cafe was now staring at me. I couldn't stop smiling as I looked around and people watched, read my books, and relaxingly ate my breakfast without one person needing anything from me. No whining, crying, diapers, playdates to clean for, laundry to do,or work to complete. Well, at least none of that stuff while I was in Barnes and Nobles for that one glorious morning.
This what what I had dreamed about for the last 3 and a half years! But then, about an hour into my freedom I was stuck. I didn't really know what to do with myself. I ate all my food, coffee was gone, and books were skimmed. I made myself sit there quietly and just savor the moment. But I just started with the To DO lists in my head. Then I made myself browse some more. I kept looking at the clock. I just couldn't relax. I felt like I should be doing something productive! I kept arguing with myself to enjoy my time, but it was an actual fight in my brain. My body just didn't remember how to just BE. After a while I just gave up and went to the grocery store and picked up a few things that we needed. I figured I had plenty of time to re-learn how to "chill" and I was really looking forward to it!
That was two months ago and I haven't had another chance since. Oh well, maybe in three more years!

Monday, August 22, 2011

Is it worth it?

I was having a difficult moment tonight. It happens. Sometimes frequently. Thinking about one crappy thing lead to thinking about another crappy thing, which led to thinking about another crappy thing. Isn' t that snowball effect freaking awesome? Finally, in the span of 20 minutes I was involved in a full on pity party, and I was the guest of honor. Waah me. I asked myself the usual question -

"Is it all worth it?"

All the money we owe, all the shit that needs to be done to the house, all the times I was really pissed and had no one to call, all the laundry to do, the slaps to the face in the middle of the grocery store by my toddler, all the places the car needs repair. All the times I fought with my husband about the god damn cat box, all the time I don't get to spend time with said husband because we have to work opposite schedules. All the friends and family that we love that are too far away, all the family that doesn't give a shit about us. All the times I don't get that birthday present or get to give that birthday present. All the times you have to deal with the outside world and you just wish you could curl up and hide for a while.

Well, pardon my french but -

Heck yeah, it is all worth it.

I don't believe in the "it's all wonderful because love conquers all" crap. But that is exactly how it is. I love my girls so stinkin' much that it hurts sometimes. I catch myself looking at them and have tears in my eyes thinking that they came to be only because of me and my husband. No one else could have made them. It is absolutely fascinating to me. They are wonderful bundles of life and joy and energy and sweet, tangled love. My life is better because of them, I am better because of them. No matter what happens, they have changed my path, my being, and are forever a part of me. I would not want to live without that part. Because without them, it is not worth it.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Father's Day 2011

Daddy's new shirt we had made for him - Because he always tells us he loves us

"As Big as the world, as big as the sky", (forever and ever and ever!)

(be sure to turn up the volume - the little microphone icon under the picture, for some reson it defaults to mute)

Daddy got a new pair of shoes, a special breakfast, a new shirt and an afternoon of boating. In his words - "best father's day ever!" Love you Keith for being a great daddy and loving your girls...


thanks for being my babies' daddy!

Sunday, June 12, 2011

No shoe didn't - Yes shoe did.

First, let me start with a quote that I find particularly fitting:

In raising my children, I have lost my mind but found my soul. ~ Lisa T. Shepherd

I share this because this picture is an example of why mothers like myself can identify with this quote. If you notice, this is a picture of a large pile of baby shoes - AND NOT ONE OF THEM MATCH. There are 10 shoes here from Fiona's shoe storage box and they are all different. In my house (or possibly car) at this given moment is the match to every one of these shoes. Yet somehow it is possible that when I am looking for two shoes that match to take my child out into the world, there are only ten shoes that - and I repeat -DO NOT MATCH!!!! This is a perfect example of why mothers often feel like they have lost their mind. Luckily for us, the second part of the quote usually comes into play quickly enough to keep us somewhat sane.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

The Sleeping Bee

****This post written by the blogger's Mom,

otherwise known as Gramma*****

One sunny morning recently on our porch, Zoe noticed a bumblebee lying underneath our table.
She asked me why the bee wasn’t moving, and I told her the bee was probably “sleeping”, which has been my Son-in-Law's way of avoiding the death subject.
My daughter told me it was okay, as death was now being discussed with little Miss 3 Year Old. So, I told her the bee was dead. She got down on her knees and tried to BZZZZZZ at it and it didn’t move.
The discussion went to “Gramma, why doesn’t the bee move?” I stumbled and told her that when you died you can’t move…..after many “why” questions, including “Gramma, why won’t he open his eyes?”, I finally resorted to the, “because God made it that way” answer to a few questions, much to the dismay of my daughter.
Zoe asked if she could touch the bumble bee - we decided not to touch but to look at it. She got down nose to nose with the bumble bee and just watched it for a long time, very, very quietly. And then said, “Gramma, the bee still won’t wake up “– so Gramma said, “Zoe, do you want to sing the bee a song?” I thought we would make up a little ditty about a sleeping bumblebee on my porch, when very quietly, she began to sing to the bee…..”The itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout……….” The song I sang to her every morning when she was a baby…..