Wednesday, August 11, 2010

An open letter to Mothers

Lately I've read a lot about motherhood. From Mommy bloggers getting their own reality show, to the stay at home vs. working mother conflict, to supermodel moms claiming to know what is right for all, to facebook rantings, to news reports on moms in crisis. One last thing I read was an opinion piece about an article that claimed motherhood was not that hard.
OK, I get it. Moms are people. Some people are easy going and some people are assholes. Some people are smart and some people aren't. Some people are go-getters and some people are lazy. That's why moms have a million different views and opinions. I really believe that the one thing that ties us all together so strongly is the fact that we are Moms. Everyone has one. It's undeniable. Maybe you don't like yours. Maybe you think your's is the best. Maybe you never met her. Maybe you wonder if you are going to end up exactly like her. But the fact is you were someone's baby. At some point you were carried in someone's womb and they thought about you. Chances are they thought about how much they loved you, or wondered how you would change their very existence, or wondered what their life would be like with or without you. After you were born, they became your mother for the rest of your life. Some mothers couldn't take the responsibilty so they gave their baby to someone who could,who then took over the role of mother. Regardless of how one becomes a mother it always involves strong feelings. This goes back to my whole "mothers are people" idea. Strong feelings give some people the courage to take on life. Strong feelings scare some people and make them unsure. Strong feelings get some people talking. Strong feelings shut some people down.
My point is that being a mother is wonderful and tiring and energizing and scary and a million other feelings all at once on any given day. So depending on when you catch us talking about it, it may come across as such. So let's try not to judge each other. I don't think any mother out there starts her day trying to be a bad one. I think it is helpful if we all try to support each other and remind ourselves that we all are mothers and we all are someone's child.
I want to be a good mother. I read somewhere that every second that passes you get a second chance to do it right. That sounds like a Good Mommy kind of place to start to me.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Love your thoughts on mommyhood. The hardest and best job ever..but why are we so critical of each other? Like you said - we all come out of different circumstances. So many of us are just trying to be the best we can be - and we find that through motherhood (or daddyhood). I want to do everything right - but I keep screwing up....yest my kids seem to be coming out ok? How do they know what's right and wrong? We can teach them unconditional love and respect...we can teach them to work hard and to fight for what they believe in.....I love being a mom. Are my kids perfect? NO- but they are really cool.....and turning into kids who are trying just as hard as I am....Love you Tracy and thanks for posting such a wonderful blog

Christine

Anonymous said...

Wow! That is powerful! I am not a mom (yet) but such truth in your words. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and giving me something to think about especially abou my own Mom and what an awesome person she truely is :)